i asked nathan to write me a poem, and this is what i got. enjoy.
The Tale of the Dog and the Hamburger
A dog once ate a hamburger,
(now mind you it wasn't a lambburger)
It was mashed out of the freshest meat,
not the kind that smells like feet.
After he was done eating it,
he went to the kitchen and threw quite a fit,
for on the box of "hamburger,"
it said "Prepared by the hands of a Turd herder."
So, the dog thought very hard,
and realized "This Turd herder is a tard,
he probably didn't wash his hands,
so now I have Turds in my stomach-gland.
Oh me, oh my, what shall I do?
In order to get rid of all this poo?"
And that dog thought and thought,
and thought and sought after an idea.
Then it occurred to him:"It will just pass through, easy and slim.
There is nothing to worry about,"
and with that he ceased to pout.

i can only say one word: awesome.