Tuesday, January 27, 2009

All the Chris Lewises

Today, as you might have known, is my brother's birthday. In honor of his existence, I will present the famous Chris Lewises. Or is it Lewis's. Lewis'? Anyway. Here we go.

This Chris Lewis is a famous English cricket player who has recently been accused of smuggling.

This charming Chris Lewis is the head honcho for the European division of XBox

Believe it or not, this is also Chris Lewis! Boy, you sure do come in all shapes and sizes. Chris was recently elected Public Governor of the foundation trust at Stafford Hospital.

And finally, Chris Lewis is "a humble family man, father of four, dedicated to serving the Lord with all his heart, a choice that he made from an early age." He leads the Arts and Worship Department at Voices of Faith Ministries.

There you have it. May you, too, Christopher Lewis, join the ranks of those who have brought glory and honor to your name.

Haeppie Boersdai

Monday, January 26, 2009

Hap[...] Birt[...] Da[...] T[...] M[...]

I am officially 22 1/2 years old.


Friday, January 23, 2009

Fire Extinguisher

So as you all know, I work for BYU Vending. I get two polo shirts and a hat that I have never worn. The hat has mesh in the back like one of those cool trucker hats. When we are going on our route, we often see other vending trucks that deliver goods such as frozen foods, candy bars, and other delectable items. More often than not, these trucks are carrying spoiled items that anyone can eat. My partner and I like to raid these trucks when they aren't looking. We often speak in pirate voices and cover one eye with a hand while collecting our spoils. Today I got an apple and a cream cheese filled soft pretzel that you warm up in the microwave. Delicious.
Sometimes we grab too many things to eat all at once, so we keep a stash of stolen spoils hidden behind our seat. However, someone stole our stashed stolen goods. Our Hostess Donette's and Craver's Cookies were gone! To say that we were crushed and hurt is an understatement. While I was driving the truck, my partner was searching frantically around the whole cabin. He reached behind the bench he was sitting on to grad the lever to make it lean forward so that he could see better, but instead of the seat lever he grabbed the fire extinguisher and squeezed (I almost wrote "squoze") the handle. Now, normally this wouldn't be a problem because a pin prevents accidental squeezing, however someone removed the pin and the whole cabin filled with chalky foam. Luckily I didn't crash. I have the reflexes of a puma. That stuff tastes so gross--I'm not even kidding. It was so weird; I have never seen one of those go off.
On a positive note, we did find 30 cents in the little return slot of various machines. We now have a total of $1.10. We hope to one day have enough to buy a mini frozen pizza. They cost $2.25. Lofty goal, I know--but you know what they say: shoot for the moon and if you miss, you'll fall among the stars.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Free things

This past week I started a new job. I am now an official employee of BYU Vending. I'm a bottle man, meaning that I load the bottle machines with delicious beverages such as Power Aide, Vitamin Water, and milk. The best part about the job is that I get to consume anything that is spoiled. For instance, last week Friday I drank two pints of Cookies and Cream milk, two granola bars, a chicken salad sandwich, and some carrots and ranch, all of which spoiled on Dec. 28th. The stuff didn't taste bad or anything--they make it so that the stuff lasts for weeks after the expiration date. Today I had XXX Vitamin Water, a chocolate milk, Doritos, and a Grandma B Cookie. I'm trying to gain weight.
But I really love getting free things. I think this has been a trend in my life. On my mission, I kept a running list to record all the items that people gave me. The list included a stolen watch, a silver pocket watch, tomatoes from the Doener Man, six suits, shoes, ties, movies, music, and hair gel, among other things. I never used the hair gel. The list was over three pages long. I didn't really understand it, but I'm not complaining.
Even today, I got a book about Rankings of Architecture Schools that normally costs about $50 for free. A guy I sit next to in class asked if I wanted it and I said, "OK."
Hopefully this trend doesn't come back to haunt me.

Contractions look funny to me. Especially "doesn't."

I'm taking a Construction Law class right now, and it's kind of interesting. We're learning about contracts and what is required for a contract to be legit. It turns out that you don't need signatures (except in real estate) for you to have a contract. Crazy. My professor had made million dollar deals on a handshake (although he highly discourages it.)
It reminded me a lot of playing Settlers of Catan. This is a great game. The German version is by far the best. I mean, you get plastic, detailed roads and towns instead of wood blocks and twigs. Here's a practical example of how a construction bid directly relates to Setters of Catan. It turns out that if you say "I'll give you two brick for rock." And I say,"How about three brick for a rock?" and you say,"No." and then I say, "Ok, ok, two brick." There is no contract! Once a counter-offer is made by the receivee, the original offer is terminated. Fascinating. Also, the offeror of the deal can legally retract his or her offer before anyone agrees to it, but once he or she makes an offer and someone else agrees to it, the offeror is legally bound to execute his or her end of the deal, whether or not they change their mind. If they decide not to do it anymore, the offeree can sue.

Another thing I don't like is how Blogger time-stamps posts according to when you start writing them instead of when you finish them.