Some stories from work

Story 1:
I saw this really funny old black lady the other day. She was laughing and cracking jokes the whole time with me, which was pretty nice and refreshing since most of the people we see are seriously ill or have some rare disease and are understandably not in the best mood. But this lady was hilarious. When I brought her back from the waiting room to the exam room she was saying "Ah, thank you sir" and "Yes, sir" and "Mmm hmm, yes sir!" between each funny comment she was making.
Then about halfway through the exam she stopped mid-sentence and said, "Hey, hey, now, hold up. How old did you say you are now?" To which I replied, "Um, well, I just turned 26."
Then the lady laughed and said, "Oh my! I ain't callin' you sir no more! You's a baby is all!"
She then proceeded to refer to me as "baby." It was pretty great. I'm not sure how old I have to be to transition from "baby" to "sir," but I have apparently not yet reached that point.

Story 2:
One of my coworkers was reviewing a patient's record before taking them back and they saw a note at the bottom of the last exam's note saying "left eye damage is consistent with forking." He had no idea what "forking" meant and the doctors couldn't really remember either. The only thing they remembered was that he was a back-woodsy kind of guy from West Virginia. My coworker went and got him and then worked him up for the doctor. When he came out of the exam room he told us all about forking.
It turns out that when this guy was about 5 or 6 years old, he walked into his kitchen while his mom was putting away the utensils. However, the mom was standing a few feet away from the utensil drawer and was tossing the utensils into the drawer and this guy walked in between his mom and the drawer. The fork was mid-air at the time and it entered into is left eye, leaving him blind.
So there you go, now you know what "forking" means, in case you come across another similar situation.

Story 3:
Sometimes we see people who are blind in one eye (see Story 2). When I work a patient up for the doctor, I test a couple things: visual acuity (meaning asking them while line on the chart they can read), pupil response, eye muscles, and eye pressure, and sometimes we run a visual field to check their peripheral vision. Anyway, as I was saying, sometimes we see people that are blind in one eye. However, almost every time I see one of these patients, I forget they can't see out of one of their eyes. It makes for some very awkward situations. For example, I would tell them to cover one eye with an occluder, and they would just sadly reply that they don't need one. Or I would have their good eye patched and ask them to "look over here" and then just sigh and lift up their eye patch to see where I'm pointing. I always feel terrible when that happens.